An end of an era.
Somewhat manic thoughts after 1am.
My website for ROOGA officially shut down yesterday. I feel blessed, and highly grateful to have made it to the end of the project/social experiment. I have so much love and appreciation for all those who aided me along the journey, gave advice, and anyone who was present to give emotional support.
On a new journey, an evolved version of self, I do recognize that there are some practices that I’m bringing along. Or “thoughts” may be a better word to express the sentiment.
I’ve never really conveyed this thought before but I don’t really like the way we treat each other. I don’t like the way we go about living our lives. I think a lot of things are fake, and I’m not above that standard either.
I never quite found a way to get that point across through ROOGA, I think I was more-so caught up in the idea of doing art that I couldn’t express it, but here I am now; finally gaining the guts to say it in a public sense.
I think we’re moving too fast, I think there’s too much of an expectation for content, I think we don’t genuinely take moments to be present in the world, I think we don’t genuinely care for each other unless something is involved, I think we look for the next distractions because deep down we know that being alive isn’t living.
The list could go on…
None of us are living…
I sit in front of my laptop at 1:38am writing this because I couldn’t sleep. I’ve been having a lot of trouble sleeping lately because my mind is constantly on go. I love it, well it might be better to say that I love the byproduct of it (I need to meditate more). This is truly the most productive I’ve ever been in my life, it’s also been the most present I’ve ever been in my entire life. I’m also subject to being seen, and that’s all very scary to me. I’m working through it though.
I don’t know where we’re going as a species, I don’t know where I’m going; I guess I’m just going through the motions until I make it somewhere that I can be proud of. All I ever wanted to do was make cool things by my own metrics, items for myself, friends, and family. I guess that would be my contribution to the world, but does it even mean anything?
I can’t change anyone else’s behavior other than my own, so does preaching technological wisdom or telling others of the importance of genuine human interaction without transaction really mean anything? Are we too far gone for anyone to really give a fuck?
Sometimes creating can feel like an uphill battle, sometimes it feels like my only coping mechanism to deal with an unjust society, it feels like my only way of understanding myself in a world that I constantly feel misunderstood in.
There are so many thoughts I sit with daily, fighting with myself in my own head because I’d like to let them be known but I feel as though I can’t convey the ideas to other people. Everyone is so content with passive bullshit that they don’t even care. But it’s also not my responsibility to make them care…
None of this shit means anything. We’re all just tiny organisms moving around on a floating rock in space. There is no redemption, there is no happy ending, life just is; and there’s nothing wrong with enjoying it for exactly what it is. (<— this applies to the world in a global sense, i do believe in personal redemption and growth within ones own life.)
I’m gonna keep doing the work that I do, hopefully it amounts to something. This ended up sounding a lot more depressing than I actually had hoped it to be but fuck it, I’m a human too, I go through my bouts, this journey isn’t only ups. I also realize that if I only opt to document my highs I’d also be contributing to the system that I, within my core feel disgusted by.
Before I wrap this up; some notes:
Get off your fucking phone (especially if you’re around other people).
Be yourself, not whoever you want other people to think you are.
Go outside and be an actual person.
Meet up with another human and talk to them.
Touch grass or whatever the kids be saying nowadays.
We pass up too many perfectly good opportunities to be present daily just because we’d rather be sucked into some fake reality or feel the need to adhere to fabricated urgency.
10:58am (update)
Upon further reflection I recognize that I can’t be overly critical without offering clarification or solutions to our ills; so here it goes:
Social media has affected the way we interact with and treat each other. we don’t have to stop using it but we can at least acknowledge the damage it’s done and do our part to pacify it. We’ve gained massive egos that don’t match our inner selves because we’re constantly being validated and fishing for attention, this doesn’t have to be the case; we can live a life that’s entirely authentic to ourselves without stroking our own egos to a point of detriment. Not everything is content.
Get to know yourself. Being alone can be scary and there are a lot of distractions in the world these days to keep you from doing that, but it is highly beneficial for you to become good with yourself, you spend more time in your skin than you do with other people.
Attempt to find community in the real world. I’ve been bigger on this sentiment for the past few years, whether it be family, friends, neighbors, whatever it is, we need communities. We need places where we can feel welcome and accepted that are outside of the weird metasocial construct we’ve allowed ourselves to build online.
Vocalize thoughts and opinions. This leads to difficult conversations but real growth and progression cannot be found unless we allow the grounds for it. We need to stop being so triggered by the idea of hearing something and shift our perspective from reaction to genuine hearing and understanding. This is how dialogue becomes effective.
Ask questions. Too many things are held at face value because the amount of options we’re given in this world nowadays, be persistent, try to understand what you can, and if other people aren’t giving you that luxury then it’s more of a reflection of them than yourself.
Stay informed. There’s a lot of misinformation out there nowadays, check with multiple sources before solidifying a thought, and if you don’t that’s cool too; allow yourself to be wrong, it opens up the ground for better conversation. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being wrong or making a mistake as long as you’re willing to accept it as such and grow from there.
Go outside. Be a human, go to a park, look at some trees, smile at a stranger, pet a dog, I don’t know, do anything you want as long as you’re GOING OUTSIDE. Leave your phone at home while you do it too, it doesn’t have to be for the whole day but unplug for 30 minutes, your emails, texts, or calls can wait. I don’t know when we became so obsessed with the overload of information we have these days but for everybody’s benefit it would be be highly rewarding to just put the device down for a little bit.
Stop being so self absorbed. Yes our ideas, goals, and perception of self is important, but don’t let it be the thing that prevents you from connecting to another person, chances are you’re already good enough as you are; the hunt for constant self improvement or consumerism is a byproduct of capitalism that we’ve all passively accepted, this doesn’t have to be the case.
Along with updates on the work that I’m doing I’m going to attempt to use this platform more to voice my thoughts and opinions, hopefully doing so in a way that offers what I think are valid solutions. This is also a place for conversation, allow the dialogue to be opened up. Please leave a comment or contact me directly thru email, text, or call if you’d like to contribute to these thoughts or would like to have a valuable dialogue about its contents.
Davo