Reflection

Look back sometimes, it might be beneficial.

I’ve wanted to write this one since the beginning of the year but there’s been a few roadblocks as to why I wasn’t able to publish it.

The start of the year has actually been pretty turbulent, balancing a bunch of projects, my personal health, as well as taking time to make sure I’m not burning myself out on work. The first draft of what I attempted to write for this wasn’t quite where I wanted it to be, I’m hoping this will be able to get idea I’m trying to convey off though.

I spend a lot of time in isolation, a lot of time in silence; which as most people can probably assume means I spend a lot of time with my thoughts.

Sometimes this can be a scary thing, before more-so than now; funny enough it kinda seems to serve as a superpower for me these days.

It helps me harness whatever energy I need for creation, it allows me to question how I can better be available for my friends and family, but most importantly it allows me to question how I can better be available for myself. What am I doing that allows me to feel grounded?

And when you know how to show up better for yourself, you can become available to show up better for everyone and everything around you.

Sometimes looking back can bring up uneasy feelings, it can bring you back to where you were at that given time, sometimes it’s easier to keep whatever past traumas or experiences where they are. Most times this can be a disservice though.

I understand that none of this is necessarily an easy thing to do either. Reflection tends to tasks you with the question of do you want to enable your poor behaviors, or do you want to work to change them for something more positive. But the beauty in all of it is that there is no right or wrong answer to that question, just whatever brings you to where you’d want to go, there’s also no timeline for when change has to come.

I look back at my life over the past 5 years and I feel empowered now because the mask is gone, I don’t have to try and be something for everyone else, I don’t have to hide my thoughts, diminish my shine so that others don’t feel intimidated… It’s a new feeling, it’s very awkward but it gets easier, i understand that it gets easier now far better than I did a few years ago.

Growth can be painful, but highly beneficial.

There’s always a period of adjustment when you choose to reflect and change, but there’s also this insane sense of accomplishment when you look back at where you were to where you are now.

Life really does seem to be a journey, and it flies by really fast. Sometimes it might be worth it to slow down just a bit to acknowledge how far any of us have come from where we were. It might even give us some additional perspective on where we need to go.

Davo